Raising Godly Tomatoes: Book Review By Sarah Dutko

By Sarah Dutko, member of the LaQuiere Group (1991-1999). This review was originally posted on Amazon September 2, 2014, revision re-posted on September 9.

I feel that I need to write this review because as someone who knows Mrs. Krueger personally, and lived out the methods she teaches in her book, I feel I need to warn any parents considering buying this book or using her methods. This is the second time I’ve posted this review, because Amazon removed my review the first time, after someone apparently complained about it. I’m not sure why Amazon feels the need to censor negative reviews of Mrs. Krueger’s book, but no matter, I will keep posting it if Amazon removes it again, because I am determined to reach parents who are considering Mrs. Krueger’s methods and tell them the truth.

I not only know Mrs. Krueger, I grew up with her and her children: for 8 years I (and my family) were a part of the same fundamentalist cult that she and her family still belong to. I’d like to provide some valuable perspective on what it is like to grow up under this kind of child “training”, and the kind of damage it does to children.

Mrs. Krueger’s child-training methods are not original to her, or just “common sense”, as she claims: they come directly from a man named Joe LaQuiere who was the leader of our cult up until he died this past year (she mentions him and his wife in her book as a “godly older couple” who gave them advice). This cult to which Mrs. Krueger and her family still belong is an insular, legalistic group with neo-Jewish practices, such as eating no pork products, celebrating the Sabbath (Saturday), condemnation of Christmas trees for being “pagan”, as well as using emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse to control its members. Having lived through it from age 6 to 14, and having family members who are still a part of this cult, gives me a unique insider’s perspective, which will hopefully provide you with enough information about the damaging and evil results of this method of “child-training” that you will help in warning against it, as it has become far too popular in the ultra-conservative, homeschooling movement, which is beginning to see a whole generation of survivors speak up about the abuses they’ve experienced, and give warning to the dangers inherent to the homeschooling community.

I am going to quote here both from Mrs. Krueger’s book, and from an article she wrote at the same time as her book.

Here is the first quote from her book. Mrs. Krueger writes:

“Let me share my experience with my third born…One day we were visiting some close friends and he decided to exert his new found power. He blatantly refused to come to Dad when Dad called him. He ignored Dad and continued playing with our friend’s telephone instead, about six feet from where my husband and I were sitting. The friends we were visiting were excellent parents and offered their advice, which we readily accepted. They coached us to outlast him, instructing Dad to keep calling him. When he didn’t budge, Dad was directed to go over to him, administer a little swat on the bottom (over clothes and a diaper), then return to where he’d been sitting and call him again. We were encouraged to repeat this, pausing appropriately between repeats, until he obeyed us…Finally, after approximately an hour and a half, he began to cry and take a few steps toward us, but he still refused to come all the way. He still did not want to totally give up the power he had enjoyed exerting over us. Each time he took a few steps toward us then stopped, we would replace him back by the phone and call him to come to us again. We devoted the next half hour to making sure he obeyed completely, not just partially…This one outlasting session had a considerable and exciting long-term impact on our child. He clearly learned he was under our authority and must always obey us…The initial two-hour ordeal never needed repeating.”


These “friends” who were “excellent parents” that she refers to are Joe LaQuiere and his wife, her mentors, and they are the people who taught her to use the methods in her book (as well as much more abusive methods which they themselves used on children, including my own siblings). This method of teaching toddlers to obey by spanking them…and then repeating…and repeating…and repeating…for 2 straight hours….or as long as it takes (which is what she means by “outlasting them” – a concept she refers to many times in her book)…is exactly the kind of child-training my family and I experienced in the cult. I’d like to share one more quote, this one from her online article that she wrote at the same time as her book. This article is from “Christian Moms of Many Blessings” (http://www.cmomb.com/child-training/). I quote a portion of what Mrs. Krueger writes:

“Don’t be afraid of a confrontation. It is helpful to set up a confrontational situation in the case of a toliler [my note: I think this is a typo for “toddler”] who is “out of control.” For example, tell him to sit on the couch next to you. When he tries to get down, give him a firm swat on the bottom and say, “No” in an `I mean business’ tone. Continue this every time he tries to get down until he stops trying. If he actually makes it off the couch, tell him to climb back up himself, if he is big enough, or replace him if needed. Don’t restrain him. Don’t give in. Ignore his crying. You are not done until he sits there quietly for as long as you want him to without resisting. Let him fall asleep if he likes. Even after he stops resisting, don’t let him down too soon. Ten or 20 minutes or even an hour is not too long. Once you have done this, continue to expect him to obey everything you tell him to do.”

Both this method and the method described earlier by her in her book were used to train young toddlers, as young as one year old, in our cult. These methods in particular were used on my little brother, Joshua, during one of the “training sessions” that Mrs. Krueger’s mentor, Joe LaQuiere, conducted in order to teach his followers how to train “obedient” children. Joshua was made to sit on my mom or dad’s lap, and spanked every time he tried to get down. He was a bright and happy baby, but very stubborn. He didn’t want to give in, but kept on trying to get down, and getting spanked for it, over, and over, and over, and over. He’d cry and cry, but he wasn’t allowed to be comforted until he “submitted” and gave in. The goal was to get him to “sit there quietly for as long as you want him to without resisting”, as Mrs. Krueger wrote. This “training” session started in the afternoon, and went on…all afternoon…and evening…late into the night. It was 2 or 3 in the morning before Joe LaQuiere okay-ed stopping for the night. At this point they had been “training” him to sit still and not cry for over 6 hours. He was not allowed to nurse during this time, or to see his mother (my mom), because that would “comfort him”, and they wanted him to be miserable until he gave in and obeyed. You may think “a small swat on the bottom” does not sound over-the-top for a small toddler as a way to get them to sit quietly (as if toddlers were created to “sit quietly” – their nature, and their developmental needs, as any child psychologist can tell you, require them to explore, not sit quietly for hours). What about spanking them over…and over…and over…for 6 hours straight? Does that sound abusive? Mrs. Krueger’s methods (really, Joe LaQuiere’s methods) say that you CANNOT GIVE UP until your child (or baby) submits to you and obeys, no matter how long that takes. If it takes all night, so be it. If it takes dozens, or a hundred spankings, so be it. This is not training, this is child abuse. My one-year-old brother Josh was subjected to this “training” day after day, until he finally, sullenly, gave in, and was now a “well-trained” baby, who would sit quietly on demand, and not try to get down and play in normal toddler fashion. In a few short months, he went from a bubbly, laughing one-year-old to a quiet, sullen, baby who rarely smiled. He was mostly silent from then on: he didn’t speak until he was nearly 4. Joe LaQuiere, (who, remember, is Mrs. Krueger’s mentor, and the one who taught her these methods) said Joshua was an exceptionally “rebellious” baby, and it was necessary to discipline the “rebelliousness” out of him until his will was broken.

See, Mrs. Krueger’s book, and her advice, is really the somewhat-milder face of Joe LaQuiere’s teaching: the public face, if you will. She watched more violent abuse occur, and was taught that it was acceptable: babies having their faces stuffed into couch cushions to teach them not to cry – children being beaten mercilessly with “The Paddle”, not once, as she writes in her book, but often 20 or 30 times. Children being dragged by their hair, thrown against walls, or dangled in the air by their throats. My own siblings endured all of these abuses, and I was made to watch.

Mrs. Krueger, whether or not she treated her own children quite this severely, watched this abuse happen to other children, and agreed with it. Her book is merely the milder, public face of private child abuse, because she knows that some of the stricter methods taught by Joe LaQuiere would be too unpalatable to put in print, as well as likely to land her (and him) in trouble with law enforcement. But make no mistake that it occurs. To be fair, Mrs. Krueger and her husband I don’t believe followed every child “training” (abuse) method that Joe LaQuiere taught: she and her family are best friends with him (one of her daughters is even married to one of Joe LaQuiere’s sons), and while their methods differ somewhat in severity, the principle is the same: OBEDIENCE is paramount, and it is of little importance HOW you get your children to obey, or how often you must beat them, as long as the end result is IMMEDIATE, UNQUESTIONING obedience, from children of any age, even through adulthood. THIS is the goal (which is in itself a very bad goal) and the methods used to achieve it, as touted by Joe LaQuiere, through the mouthpiece of Mrs. Krueger, are cruel and damaging.

To this day, I suffer panic attacks and horrible flashbacks to watching my brothers and sisters abused through this method of child-rearing. I grew up emotionally-stunted, being taught that ‘a cheerful face’ was the only acceptable expression, and that any negative emotions I felt, like anger, or sadness, or frustration, were sin, and needed to be corrected. Thus I learned to disassociate myself from my emotions, effectively divorcing them from my conscious mind, which is a process I am still trying, with the help of therapy, to undo. The children, including those in my family, who grew up under these methods, are emotionally unstable; are fearful of and often unable to make their own decisions; are unable to move into independent adulthood without the constant guidance of parents telling them what to do; and worst of all, have a false and damaging picture of who God is, and who they are meant to be.

After leaving the cult that Mrs. Krueger belongs to, I was confused, depressed, and suicidal. I believed that God was an angry God who despised me for not reaching His standards of perfection. I learned nothing about grace through this experience. Thank God, I discovered it after I left, and realized that God does not treat us like Joe LaQuiere and Mrs. Krueger do their children: punishing every crime and dealing out justice until we are perfect. Instead, He already provided the perfect righteousness that we can never achieve through Jesus, and gave us in one fell swoop, a perfect record and status with him, and complete forgiveness of all sins, past and future! He doesn’t demand perfect performance from us to gain His acceptance. We are not “spanked” until we learn to obey Him instantly, with no questions, and with a false smile. Instead, He loves on us, extravagantly, and at great personal cost to Himself, in order to draw us to Himself…by LOVE. LOVE is what calls us to CHOOSE to obey Him – not repeated punishment, or the fear that He will only “enjoy us” as long as we fulfill the letter of His law. THIS is how we need to treat our children: with the same mercy and grace that God showers on us. To follow Mrs. Krueger’s method instead will give our children an outward layer of “goodness”, on which they think their acceptance by God depends, while inwardly they remain full of sin and darkness, needing God’s redeeming love and GRACE to flood in and wash them clean! Mrs. Krueger’s book and methods create little Pharisees: looking pretty good on the outside, but with aching hearts inside, knowing the misery of never being “good enough”. Thank God we don’t HAVE to be “good enough” for Him: we already are, thanks to the sacrifice He made for us!

Please PLEASE do not buy this book, or use these methods on your children!! Try instead something like “Families where Grace is in Place”, or “Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Children with the Love of Jesus” both EXCELLENT books! Leave Mrs. Krueger’s book where it belongs…forgotten, gathering dust in her basement somewhere, while your children flourish in the LOVE and GRACE of God!

If you have any questions, or would like to ask me specifics about why Mrs. Krueger’s methods are so damaging, please feel free to email me at sarah.dutko77@gmail.com! I’d love to talk with you 🙂

20 thoughts on “Raising Godly Tomatoes: Book Review By Sarah Dutko

  1. jaysentrueblood September 9, 2014 / 11:08 am

    there is nothing righteous about such methods. I know. for years, my family were a part of a cult and I was subject to vicious verbal abuse from my father which was excused as being “right” and “just” by our leadership. Nowhere in the Bible does it excuse violence or abuse. Neither does it call for total subjugation of child to parent.

    There is never an excuse for purposely misinterpreting Biblical scriptures to serve selfish and unsound doctrines. The faithful do not beat their kids into submission nor raise them to be tyrants. they raise their children with the wisdom and understanding that discipline is neither harsh nor too lenient. there is no heavy handed iron rule. Just guidance and teaching.

    Merely separating the child from society does not rid the child of human weakness. imperfection is our curse. In it, we find true redemption. Not through tyranny and fear.


    • theexgoodgirl October 7, 2014 / 10:46 am

      Jaysen, I completely agree. I think people often forget that children are only children TEMPORARILY – they are PERSONS worthy of respect PERMANENTLY. Age doesn’t enter into it. As regards separating children from society, here’s a quote from an article I read that sums up the fallacy of THAT idea so well:

      “If we isolate our kids from the world until they are adults they may appear to us to be spiritually minded and strong in character. However, it is how they ultimately engage the world that proves their spiritual resilience. This is because sheltering does not transform the human heart – it merely preserves it, temporarily. Sheltering is nothing more than keeping something flammable away from a fire.”


  2. Hester September 9, 2014 / 11:10 am

    So if the basic method of Pearl, Krueger, etc. is “hit your child as much as possible until they do what you want,” why do they have to write all these different books when they’re all really exactly the same?


    • Cactus Wren September 9, 2014 / 11:26 am

      Hester – To reinforce the message, and override parents’ natural instinct towards love and compassion.


    • Headless Unicorn Guy September 9, 2014 / 1:02 pm

      All about the Benjamins, baby.


    • linnea September 9, 2014 / 1:07 pm

      And it’s really disheartening that this book and many others with the same message (as noted, lots of “christian” authors over the years have jumped on this bandwagon–“God, the Rod, and Your Child’s Bod,” anyone??) have overwhelmingly positive reviews. The book referenced here has far more 5 star than 1 star reviews on Amazon.

      It’s self-reinforcing. Parents who believe or want to believe in this style of child-rearing/child abuse will continue to buy the books that affirm their practices, and will continue to write positive reviews…which just pulls more people in by reassuring those who are hesitant that, “Yes! There are lots of good christians who read these books and recommend them, so it must be the right thing to do!”

      I was irreparably damaged by the kinds of “discipline” encouraged in these books, made only worse by the isolation of homeschooling. I’m sure there are parents who engage in these kinds of practices who are uneasy about it, and do it reluctantly after giving into pressure from the church. But there are just as many who are sick and sadistic and are just looking for validation from religion for their need to control and hurt the little children in their care. It’s disgusting and immoral and depressing that this happens to kids.


  3. Headless Unicorn Guy September 9, 2014 / 1:01 pm

    Mrs. Krueger’s methods (really, Joe LaQuiere’s methods) say that you CANNOT GIVE UP until your child (or baby) submits to you and obeys, no matter how long that takes. If it takes all night, so be it.

    Now THAT is someone who lives in a universe where the only thing that exists is POWER STRUGGLE. Dominate or be Dominated, Kill or be Killed, Eat or be Eaten, Hold the Whip or Feel the Whip.

    I had a family situation with two family members who saw everything — EVERYTHING — as “a dick-swinging contest”. And THEY had to Dominate. It messed up everyone they were in regular contact with, including me.


    • Headless Unicorn Guy September 9, 2014 / 1:06 pm

      Thus I learned to disassociate myself from my emotions, effectively divorcing them from my conscious mind…

      I’ve heard of that disassociation response before. The context was torture and rape.

      The children, including those in my family, who grew up under these methods, are emotionally unstable; are fearful of and often unable to make their own decisions; are unable to move into independent adulthood without the constant guidance of parents telling them what to do; and worst of all, have a false and damaging picture of who God is, and who they are meant to be.

      I have always been emotionally unstable, and a perfectionist upbringing (“But You’re a Genius!”) has left me “fearful and often unable to make my own decisions”. If you never attempt anything, you can’t get punished for doing it wrong, can you?


      • nickducote September 9, 2014 / 1:07 pm

        “Disassociation” is a common response to all sorts of trauma.


      • linnea September 9, 2014 / 1:14 pm

        I think “dissociation” is the more common spelling for the phenomenon, if one were interested in researching and reading more about it. That’s how it’s referred to in the DSM.


  4. heidi0523 September 9, 2014 / 3:16 pm

    Wow, I actually liked her book. IT was much milder than any other of the books I was reading at the time. She seemed like the gentlest of all of them. I don’t follow anything from the book anymore, except that if a kid is upset and getting in trouble, keep them close to you. Not in the way explained above, but just keep the kid. I must have added that to the Gentle Parenting books I was reading right after that. IDK. Thanks for sharing!


  5. Jim K. September 11, 2014 / 4:52 am

    “I had a family situation with two family members who saw everything — EVERYTHING — as “a dick-swinging contest”. And THEY had to Dominate.”

    I realize the background of the comment is not amusing in the least; however, as a collector of colorful expressions this one had me intermittently laughing for much of the day yesterday. Hope you don’t mind if I borrow it. 🙂 Thanks for a much needed smile.

    Jim K.


  6. Elena September 13, 2014 / 1:26 pm

    Thanks for the warning about this book. However,I must clarify one point: Jews DO NOT condemn Christmas trees as “pagan”–Jehovah’s Witnesses do that. Jews do not even celebrate Christmas. I am Jewish. I always enjoy reading this blog because I live in the South,a.k.a. the Bible Belt,and I have a fundamentalist co-worker. The blog makes me feel like I’m not crazy or alone.


    • Headless Unicorn Guy September 17, 2014 / 8:55 am

      Elena, half the time I call one of my writing partners (the burned-out preacher) cross-country, I pose the same question to him:

      “Did we go batshit crazy, or did everybody else?”

      And he always answers with one of the Desert Fathers:

      “There will come a time when men will go mad. And they will lay hands on the sane among them, saying “YOU ARE NOT LIKE US! YOU MUST BE MAD!”


  7. Timber St. James September 16, 2014 / 2:16 pm

    Thanks from me as well. I remember the trauma of the bare-butt paddlings and then watching mom go down the line. The thing I hate the most these days are the gross, creepy people who immediately pipe up with: “Aww, I was abused worse than you and I deserved it every time and look at how I turned out!”

    Yeah, you are paying taxes and still have four limbs. Winning–is that what you meant? Or did the brutalization of your childhood help you get that extra +200 on your SATs, get into a great school, marry a balanced and loving spouse, and land a satisfying and well-paying job?

    In that case, I’m going into the paddle-making business, because as soon as everyone hears your story, business will be “hitting” hard.


    • Headless Unicorn Guy September 17, 2014 / 8:57 am

      Maybe he means “Winning” in the sense of the Charlie Sheen meltdown?


  8. Headless Unicorn Guy September 18, 2014 / 12:18 pm

    Something about the title:
    Raising Godly TOMATOES.
    Not kids, TOMATOES.
    You know what tomatoes are raised for, don’t you?


  9. Becky Russell October 5, 2014 / 12:34 am

    These are quotes from Mrs. Krueger’s website. It is possible that the reviewer, Sarah, is mistaken?

    Love in Parenting
    When I first began writing about child rearing, I focused mostly on discipline because so many parents were failing in that area. They loved their children, but didn’t know how to discipline them. Then I began receiving criticism for “never writing about loving your children”. OY!

    As I reflected on these complaints, I realized that I had assumed that loving and enjoying children was a simple, natural phenomenon commonly understood and universally practiced by all parents. I didn’t think I needed to write about it! Wrong. I now realize, that there are indeed well-intentioned parents who go overboard with discipline, standards, and structure, but are wholly ignorant about how to express love to their children. With that in mind, I began including advice on this most mandatory part of successful child rearing loving your child.

    If your children are models of perfect behavior, but starved for love, they will eventually turn from you and probably from God as well. Don’t let that happen. Learn to love, and express that love, to your children. Build a relationship with them of the sort that will encourage them to want to obey you and eventually the Lord. Keeping your children close to you via Tomato Staking, will make this possible.

    Remember, O LORD, Thy compassion and Thy lovingkindnesss, for they have been from of old.
    – Psalms 25:6

    Tomato Staking with Love
    Beside making it possible to watch and correct your children, Tomato Staking makes it possible to nurture your children with love. Keep your children with you. Hug, kiss, sing, laugh and play with them. Include them in the things you are doing. Smile at them when they come to you to show you something. Welcome their attention. Answer their questions. Invite them into your lap for a cuddle. Let them crawl into your bed and snuggle up to you now and then. When they ask to help you, say, “Sure.” Joke and laugh with them. Share with them your sense of humor. Be interested in the things they are interested in and be excited about their accomplishments as you tutor them in all of God s ways. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Can a child who is the constant recipient of such joyful companionship ever doubt that he is deeply and profoundly loved? I don t think so.

    I know that all moms are beset with endless chores and duties, but these should never take precedence over your children. If you are Tomato Staking with an abundance of love, you will soon find that discipline consuming a progressively diminishing portion of your time, freeing you up for those chores. So especially when you are first starting out, set aside what tasks you can, and address your child s needs for both discipline and love, whenever they arise.

    Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
    – James 4:8

    Guarding Your Child’s Trust
    If you love your children, you will discipline them when needed. But when you discipline, you must do so justly and without anger. The Bible says not to “provoke your children to wrath”. We must be certain that we are just in the way we treat our children. The following checklist of questions will help you determine if your discipline is appropriate and just, or whether you are at risk of provoking your children to wrath.

    1. Do you betray your child’s trust and confidence by ignoring an infraction one day, then punishing for the same infraction the next? Or do you consistently watch and correct them whenever needed?
    2. Do you emotionally unsettle your children by praising them one minute, then yelling at them the next? Or do you control your own emotions and consistently address them with calmness and peace?
    3. Do you constantly pick on your children for trivial transgressions? Or do you consistently show love and affection the majority of the time?
    4. Do you spring unreasonable demands on your children without warning? Or do you let them know clearly what is expected of them ahead of time if at all possible?
    5. Do you discipline them just as severely for a simple accident as you do for outright defiance, or are you appropriately merciful when an innocent mistake occurs?
    6. Are you unreasonably regimented for no good reason? Or are you flexible and understanding when possible?
    7. Are you always suspicious or your children s motives, conveying it by constant accusations and criticisms? Or do you trust your children when they’ve earned your trust, and let them know it by your words, smiles and the privileges you allow them? 
    8. Do you emotionally abuse your children with unnecessary shaming, belittling, and manipulation? Or are you reasonable, straightforward and direct when dealing with them?
    9. Do you leave your children feeling that no matter how hard they try, they can never quite measure up anyway? Or do they know they will receive your approval as long as they make a sincere effort to do what is right?
    10. Are you a critical, controlling ogre? Or the pleasant loving parent you ought to be?
    How you treat your children in all of these things will profoundly determine the quality of your relationship with them. One thing is absolutely certain: a good relationship will lay a foundation for the growth of true Christian character in our children, and of a close relationship between them and God Himself in the future. A poor parent/child relationship will almost certainly frustrate and undermine the development of the godliness that is the goal of our sacred labors. An unjust, unkind and unreasonable parent can easily lead our children to reject the Lord completely in the end . Please take this to heart and build a close loving relationship with your child that models the relationship our Lord offers us.

    And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
    – Ephesians 6:4

    Attitude of Approval
    The most important part of a good praise strategy is not the specific words or the timing, but how your overall attitude reflects perpetual loving approval and encouragement. Look carefully into your children s ways, and express with your countenance, words, and actions, that you are pleased with them for the good that you see. When you assess your children, scrutinize their hearts and motives, not just their outward actions. Be particularly alert to expressions of kindness, generosity, hard work, positive attitudes, and other indications of good character. Be especially quick to praise your child when he makes a difficult choice to do the right thing. Let him know that not only do you approve of him, but so does God.

    Praise of the most effective kind may be communicated without the use of words. Simply letting your children know that you are pleased with them is effective praise, the best kind really, and should be done frequently. Overall, your children should always feel they are covered by your love and approval, just as we, the sheep of our Lord’s flock, know for a certainty that we are the objects of His unconditional love and acceptance.

    Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
    – Proverbs 16:24

    Parental Anger Related to Child Rearing
    Most of us can relate to feeling frustrated and angry with our children from time to time. Parental anger and frustration are usually the result of one of two things: ignorance of effective parenting strategies or wrong parental priorities. A parent who does not know how to handle a situation in which a child is utterly out of control, will certainly be frustrated, and this frustration will often turn to anger. On the other hand, if you know exactly what to do when your child begins to misbehave, and you are willing to do it, you will simply handle the matter and move on, without stress and often with a feeling of satisfaction with a parenting job well done.

    Sometimes a parent knows what to do, but they simply are not willing to do it. They expect their children to behave perfectly with little or no effort on their part. Or they expect their children to just stay out of the way while they proceed with their lives as if their children didn’t exist. They let their ambitions, housework, or hobbies, become a higher priority than parenting, and they begin to view their children as annoying interruptions. This attitude guarantees failure, frustration, and anger. Only by reordering priorities and recognizing that parenting is a highly demanding, full time job, will there be any hope for decent results and the absence of frustration. Give up everything else if you have to, and undertake the world’s most important and fulfilling job to the best of your ability. Expect it to be a demanding job at times, but look forward to the challenge instead of resenting it. Parenting will be far less of a frustration to you, if you learn how to do it well, and if it is not competing with everything else for your time and attention.

    And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
    – Colossians 3:12


    • theexgoodgirl October 7, 2014 / 11:00 am

      Becky Russell, this looks like the identical post from “Mary Jones” and her review on Amazon posted a few days ago. Whether you are “Mary Jones”, or just thought she raised good points, I will respond with the same comment I left on her review.

      My problem with the book is not with the isolated sections in which Mrs. Krueger encourages loving interactions with your child. I’m glad she has updated her advice and website to include that. But my problem with her book and her methods are much greater than can be solved by her suggesting not disciplining in anger, and loving your children. Let me point out just two major problems I have with her philosophy AS A WHOLE, that are completely unrelated to the quotes above, which are cherry-picked.

      1. Her child-training methods explicitly state that children should be corrected for the same offense up to or exceeding 100 times in a row, and her rule of “outlasting your child” when administering spankings easily leads to abuse when used on a strong-willed toddler or child. Some children just do NOT give up that easily, and if parents take this advice, they will be damaging their children through excessive spankings. I gave examples of how her method was used, both by herself with her own child, and with my brother. These examples should make it clear that this advice leads to EXCESSIVE PUNISHMENT for ANY child, and especially for a young toddler!

      2. Her whole philosophy is based on the anti-biblical belief that godliness can be instilled from the OUTSIDE IN – that by training your child to “act godly” you will cause them to BE godly. This is so contrary to everything we see in scripture – godliness can NOT be imposed from the outside – in fact, Paul plainly states in Galations that God’s Law is a schoolmaster, meant to lead us to Christ, so that we can be justified BY FAITH. We CANNOT please God by following the Law…and we cannot follow the Law perfectly. The Law is there to show us that we CANNOT reach it, and that our righteousness will never even come close to what God requires. The Law is there to lead us to Christ, and his sacrifice for us, and his gift of his own perfect record applied to our account.

      See, Mrs. Krueger has been taught to believe in JUSTIFICATION and SANCTIFICATION by WORKS. She believes that we cannot please God except through meeting the high standards He set in the Law. This is anti-gospel. This is a HUGE problem I have with her book. It raises our children to believe that their acceptance by God depends on THEIR PERFORMANCE. But this is untrue. Thank God that our acceptance is based ONLY AND ALWAYS on Christ’s covering blood, and Christ’s perfect sacrifice, and Christ’s perfect righteousness that IS NOW OURS!

      I’ve lived her philosophy. It permeates everything in her book. It is damaging and anti-gospel, and therefore very dangerous to use on our children, if we wish to guide them in their journey to their own relationship with our loving, ever-gracious Father!

      I’m more than happy to discuss any of this with you – my email is sarah.dutko77@gmail.com I’d be delighted to hear from you!


      • Nomo Landhos August 17, 2015 / 3:27 pm

        The La Quiers sound like criminals who get a kick out of torturing children. Ditto for Mrs.Kruger. What state and city do they live in ? Can there be a police investigation for inhumane treatment? This month in the local paper four police officers were arrested for beating on the kids in their youth camp. Almost identical incidents, except the kids in the camp were 12-17 years old.


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