Hurts Me More Than You: A Poem by HomeschooledinGA

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Trigger warning for Hurts Me More Than You series: posts in this series may include detailed descriptions of corporal punishment and physical abuse and violence towards children.

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A Poem by HomeschooledinGA

In slow motion I watch the belt land blow after blow.
I hear my sister’s screams as time goes slow.
I feel the terror slowly sink in,
As I realize it’s my turn again.
Try to control the urge to tremble,
The urge to cry and beg for mercy,
But this is just a preamble,
To a never ending struggle with
Love for me.
I try my hardest you see
To not let him have control of me
But
To be a person with singular thoughts
Is to be a kid with an irregular walk.
To be a kid who’s always fought
Is to be a person who’s too afraid to talk.
To be a girl with bruises down her legs,
Is to be a girl with that gait
Peg legged.
To be too scared to cry
Is the moment I realize I want to die.
In quick motion blooms the notion
That I will be nothing more than a notation
On my death certification.
As the belt lands blow after blow,
I keep my breathing going slow.
I feel the peace flood within
I realize he’ll never make me cry again.
Try to control the urge to turn around
Take his weapon seize control
Beat him until he’s the one on the ground
But now it’s time to pay the toll.
I try my hardest you see
To not let him have control of me
But
to be a person with singular thoughts
Is to have a mind full of guarded locks.
To be a kid who’s always fought
Is to be a person who’s too shell shocked.
And to be that girl with bruises down her legs
Is to be the girl who will never beg
In this never ending struggle of
Love for me.
To be too happy to feel the blows
Is the moment that I know
That I will be nothing more that a notation
On my death certification.

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