The Civil War Wasn’t Your Fault (And Other Things I Wish I’d Known)

CC image courtesy of Flickr, Britt Reints.

Editorial note: The following is reprinted with permission from Micah J. Murray’s blog. It was originally published on January 29, 2016.

I’m in this stretch of my life called “deprogramming”.

It’s the part that comes after brainwashing, and after disillusionment, and after despair. Deprogramming is the long, difficult process of unlearning all the ways my mind was bent by bad religion, rearranging a hundred tangled wires criss-crossing my mind.

Today I came across another pile of bullshit from the cult leader whose teachings were part of my brainwashing for the first twenty years of my life.

So today we are going to deconstruct some bullshit, as we’ve done here once or twice before.

This might not be of particular interest to you, unless you were in the cult I was in (which, sadly, many of us were) or unless you have a morbid interest in dissecting us from a distance like a freakshow (which, sadly, is not an unlikely scenario.)

First, a moment of backstory: Bill Gothard, an old man who has never been married or had children, resigned a few years ago from the cult he built by telling other people how to be married and have children. His resignation came in the midst of a sexual harassment investigation which has recently become a sexual abuse lawsuit. Like any good cult leader, Gothard has not let the utter collapse of his empire or the dozens of serious allegations against him deter him from doing the Lord’s work. Instead, he has simply rebooted the franchise with yet another vaguely named religious undertaking: Life Purpose Power Teams. Though this new project prudently avoids using Gothard’s increasingly infamous name and face, it is saturated with his pseudo-inspirational buzzwords, bullshit spiritual performance checklists, bizarrely specific obsession with multiples of the number seven, and grandiose promises of guaranteed success.

It was from this new venture that today’s fresh hot pile of bullshit emerges, enlightening with a bit of wistful revisionist history.

Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 6.47.46 PM

(Go ahead and read it. I’ll wait.)

At first, the premise seems benign (if somewhat optimistic, anachronistic, and irrelevant):

If everyone in America circa 1860 had followed the steps outlined in Gothard’s new Bullshit Magic Power Squad books (spoiler: reading and memorizing Bible verses, basically), everyone would have been prosperous and successful (including the slaves), the slave owners would have been nicer to the slaves, and God would have blessed everybody. 

“Now hold up, Mr. Cynical Disillusioned Liberal Heretic,” you’re saying. “Why all the profanity? What’s wrong with suggesting that it’s a good idea to read the Bible and pray regularly?”

Nothing except…


The underlying economy of Gothard’s Bullshit Magic Power Squad is that God’s economy is a simple machine powered by religious performance.

“If every believer had established the daily disciplines of getting a Rhema* in the morning and quoting it to God while going to sleep, God would have fulfilled his promise of giving them prosperity and success.”

*for the uninitiated, “Rhema” is Gothard’s fancy Greek word than means “a Bible verse taken out of context and arbitrarily appropriated for personal use like a magic fortune cookie quote”

Do you see what he’s selling here? Follow these simple steps, and you can manipulate God into giving you prosperity and success. That’s just not how it works.


The same idea is also used to imply that the position of the slaves could have been improved — not through the ending of systemic injustice or the repentance of white slave-owners — but by the slaves themselves following the same religious rituals:

If all the slaves would have been trained how to follow these same disciplines of finding and meditating on daily Rhemas, God would have also given them the same prosperity and success.

This raises a few questions for me.

Specifically, what the fuck sort of god have you constructed that’s sitting up there in heaven, looking down on humans made in his image, watching them suffering slavery and torture at the hands of their fellow humans, and this god is saying, “Well, I would totes give you prosperity and success, but it will be another century before a slick salesman with a bad combover from Chicago unlocks the magic formula to my blessing, so I guess you just have to suck it up and keep sweating it out in the cotton fields.”


This is the most insidious part of Gothard’s if/then approach to religious discipline. Ultimately, his particular brand of spirituality doesn’t lead to further freedom and enlightenment, but to self-doubt, cynicism, and despair.

You see, any good cult is carefully engineered with layers of extra chainsto keep its adherents trapped inside.

I remember, from when I lived in the red-carpeted cult center in Indianapolis a decade ago. I remember thinking, “The system isn’t working for me. I’m following the rules. I’m checking the boxes. I’m doing all the religious shit. And I’m not happy. I’m not successful. I’m not free. I’m empty. I’m broken. I’m hurting.”

But the problem was never with the system. The system was infallible. Hell, it could have prevented the bloodiest conflict the United States had ever witnessed, if only they had known to follow these five easy steps. If only they’d had access to these special insights from Bill Gothard himself (a $100 value, now only $49 when you join a Bullshit Magic Power Squad!)

Don’t you see?

“My system could have prevented the Civil War” is more than just laughable hubris. It carries the implicit suggestion that if we had only tried harder, done more, and followed the rules better, we could have prevented our own civil wars.

We are left wandering the gutted fields of the war-torn South, surrounded by rotting corpses and smoldering homes and generations of racial injustice, and there standing like a smug Lorax in the middle of the devastation is Bill Gothard with his dyed hair and navy suit telling us that all of this could have been avoided if we’d just tried harder, done more, memorized a few more Bible verses, said a few more prayers, attended a few more conferences, made a few more impossible commitments.

We are left wandering our own war-torn battlefields, surrounded by collapsing marriages and dying faith and screaming anxiety and lingering depression — and all he has to offer to our broken hearts is literally a book full of fucking checklists and the arrogant suggestion that God would have blessed us if we had only tried harder, done more, been more.

Dear God, am a fucking good enough for you yet? Will I ever be good enough for you?


Forget Mr. Gothard’s “5 Essential Steps to Guaranteed Success”. There are no formulas, there are no guarantees, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something, or trying to steal your soul. Probably both.

Let me offer, as alternative, these five suggestions instead:

  1. Fuck that shit.
  2. Know that you are infinitely, unconditionally loved by the God of the universe.
  3. (skip this one)
  4. (skip this one too)
  5. (Seriously, why are you still here? You are free.)

6 thoughts on “The Civil War Wasn’t Your Fault (And Other Things I Wish I’d Known)

  1. noisycrow February 3, 2016 / 9:51 am

    Goddard has done so much damage. It is heartbreaking.


  2. Megan Berlener February 3, 2016 / 11:47 am

    HAHAHAHAH!! They took the page down. XD Thank you for screencapping it for us, he’ll never be able to purge that from the net.


  3. Headless Unicorn Guy February 3, 2016 / 1:34 pm

    Do you see what he’s selling here? Follow these simple steps, and you can manipulate God into giving you prosperity and success.

    Like a Sorcerer drawing the Summoning Circle just right, making the spell gestures just right, and speaking the incantations just right to bind and manipulate the spirits/supernatural forces into doing the Sorcerer’s Will?


  4. L J Lamb February 4, 2016 / 4:13 pm

    The freedom and life that comes from knowing that God’s love, approval, presence, blessings and salvation have NOTHING to do with my performance life changing. It was like coming out of the fog and receiving hope. As I learned to believe it I stopped being afraid of God. I stopped needing to perform. I learned that I have intrinsic worth. It turned off the judgment. It taught me to lean into God and get help when I was in trouble rather than hiding my problems with denial.

    And something else crazy happened. I started to heal mental.

    My doctor has seen this phenomenon many times. He actually teaches on it now because he had so many Christian clients with mental illnesses and he found this doctrine drove it, and when he dismantled it and worked through the trauma his patients recovered.


  5. dover1952 February 9, 2016 / 2:57 am

    I am a Christian who just found the Homeschoolers Anonymous website—quite by accident. I was not homeschooled, and I never did any homeschooling for my children. However, over the years, I have heard a lot of bad things about it from a lot of different people and places.

    My job as a professional archaeologist puts me in intimate touch with a lot of American history because historical archaeology and history go hand-in-hand. The learning sheet that you present above is amazingly stupid in that it never suggests that setting the slaves free would have been the Christian thing to do. As a Christian, my bottom line on the matter is simple. Slavery is Theft. As my economist friend Ruth says, “Time is money.” The slave holders of the Old South and some in the Old North stole the freedom, time, and labor of African-Americans just as surely as robbing a bank at gunpoint. Slavery itself was in direct violation of Commandment No. 5. It should have been abolished, and the slave owners of the Old South should have been FORCED to compensate every African-American family for its past generational losses—and i say that as a person born and raised in the American South.

    It is a well known fact that racism is widespread in Christian fundamentalist church congregations today. A friend of mine who was a Christian fundamentalist pastor for 25 years at fundie churches over much of the nation confessed that to me as truth. Therefore, it is not surprising to me that fundie homeschool lessons would try to avoid saying anything about freeing the slaves.

    Just in case anyone here is interested, I have a new WordPress blog called “Flee from Christian Fundamentalism.” You are all welcome to visit it at the following link:

    An incredibly large number of Americans are being harmed in various ways by the religious and political extremism that is rife in Christian fundamentalist and conservative evangelical circles. No one person alone can fight them and the harm they are causing alone. We all need to lock arms and march forward together. Please feel free to advertise my blog to your friends, associates, and any fundie (homeschooling or otherwise) that you happen to me. And be clear about this. We are not fighting against the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Christian fundamentalism and conservative evangelicalism are the follies of ordinary men and women who have chosen to think and behave as if they are God. We fight not against God but against the foibles of men. God bless all of you, and I feel really sad about all of the idiocy and pain you folks had to endure under the thumb of the so-called homeschooling movement. I hope you will not blame that on Jesus. If it had been up to him alone, He would have freed all of you from the Rushdoony State Prison.


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